Monday, August 29, 2011

Reasons Why I Should Never Teach Your Child

1. I swear more than any female I know.

2. I can make a dirty joke out of almost anything.

3. I hate children's television and children's music.

4. My extracurricular interests include fetishism and BDSM. Granted, most of my interest is academic/theoretical, since in practice, I could easily pass for asexual.

5. I can't wake up in the morning without multiple alarms and the occasional call from one of my parents.

6. I have never in my life held an iota of school spirit.

7. I dislike most of the people I'm in class with.

8. I think group projects are bullshit.

9. I can't go more than three hours without eating. And if I don't eat, I either start falling asleep or becoming murderously angry.

10. I'm an atheist. Although I think this actually could make me a better teacher, if anyone ever found out, I'd get roasted on a rotisserie spit at the next PTA meeting.

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